Traditions (or Lack Thereof)

I've never been so aware of how few Christmas traditions we have in the US until moving to Denmark.  (Yes, I live in Denmark!  Some how that still doesn't resonate clearly.  Probably because of the 70 work trips I took last year:)). 

This year I spent Christmas in Denmark for the first time.  It also marked my first Christmas without my family.  And with those two anticipatory sentences now you know it went either really well or really poorly....it went really well!  Anders family is exceedingly awesome and I loved being invited into all of their traditions.  Everyone was so excited to share the special things they do to celebrate Christmas.  It felt like I was being initiated into a secret club.  For example,

Danish Christmas dinner - Is eaten on Christmas Eve!  The majority of the country eats the same thing - roast duck and pork with "flæskesvær" on Christmas Eve.  The duck is stuffed with apples and prunes and served with boiled and sugar sweet potatoes, red cabbage, beets and cranberry jam.  What is exceptional about the pork is the skin that is best described as bacon on steroids. The dessert consists of ‘ris à l’amande’ (rice pudding with whipped cream, vanilla and almonds) with hot cherry sauce. A peeled almond is hidden in the dessert bowl and the lucky finder of the almond (me!) wins a present. 

Preparing Christmas (Eve) dinner - Everyone arrives in the early afternoon to cook together - and begin drinking.  Since everyone knows the menu it's easy to delegate.  What a cool departure from one person being stressed out about having the entire responsibility of cooking!

Visiting deceased loved ones at the cemetery -  As the duck cooks it's the perfect opportunity for a pre-meal walk over to the cemetery.  I couldn't believe the throngs of people there with candles and flowers paying their respects.  I'd liken the number of people to a mall in the US on Christmas Eve Day.

"Dancing" around the Christmas tree -  To say that we were dancing would be generous.  We were walking around the Christmas tree.  Family members stand in a circle around the tree clasping each others hands awkwardly while shuffling in circles trying to remember song lyrics and not get burned by the real candles that light the tree.  I loved the meditative quality of this tradition and as an added bonus the final song finds you running around the house thus mitigating food comas before it's time to open present.

December 25 -  So if the Danes celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve, don't they do anything on the 25th? Oh yes.  Most families meet on the 25th, 1. juledag, to have a traditional Danish Christmas lunch involving many hours and lots of snaps and smørrebrød and some even do it again on December 26! 

Nisser - Bells, candles, holly and Christmas trees seem to be universal and while we also have elves in the American Christmas tradition (nisser in Danish) here they abound - every family seems to have a couple collections! 

There are a few things that I think make traditions more prevalent in Denmark than the US.

Maintaining the status quo in Denmark vs active choice in the US - Danish culture is the same as being Danish whereas America is made up of lots of different cultures.  Subsequently when two Danes decide to start a family it's not a choice to maintain traditions it's just a continuation of what they'd been doing.  On the other hand, in the US the likelihood of a couple having common cultural traditions before meeting each other isn't as likely so bringing traditions into a new generation requires an active choice.

Americans have amalgamated - On top of that, cultural traditions in the US aren't as strong because they've already been diluted by generations before us.  When people emigrate to the US they shed some of their traditions as they amalgamate and try to blend in.  This trend continues generation after generation as couples come together from different cultures.  Compromises are made and the new generations don't feel as close to their ethnicity.  For example, my family still looks forward to Lebanese food for Christmas (kibbeh nayeh!!) but the menu is usually about half Lebanese food and no one in our family dances the dabkeh or listens to Fairuz at holidays anymore.  Many Anglo-Americans whose families have been in the US longer than my family are such a mishmash of cultures that they have few or no traditions that hold significant meaning for them.

Americans have a tradition of modernity - What American Christmas traditions differentiate us from the rest of the world?  Consumerism??  In the US we're the anti-tradition.  We have a history of focusing on modernity.  Danes enjoy the structure of tradition - that within the constant change of the modern world, there are aspects that are invariant and unchanging.

Countries in close proximity to others feel the need to differentiate - Not that individual Danes are thinking this as they decide to maintain a tradition but I think that in Europe there are also stronger cultural traditions because small countries in close proximity subconsciously feel the need to differentiate themselves from their neighbors.  In the US we lump Norway, Sweden and Denmark together as Scandinavian but the cultural differences and traditions are shocking!

I expected to be homesick this Christmas but with so much joy swirling around me, so many memory making moments and so many interesting new things to try I simply never found the time!  

Wishing you a Merry Belated Christmas and Happy New Year as well!